GUIDELINES FOR THE CELEBRATION OF MARRIAGE

Marriage is a Covenant by which a man and a woman establish a partnership for their whole life, and which by its very nature is ordered to the well-being of the spouses and to the procreation and education of children. For Christians, marriage is a holy Sacrament, a means by which the spouses are sanctified in the knowledge and love of God.

The preparation for marriage should be a time of joyful anticipation, with the co-operation of family, friends, and the parish community to which you belong. In planning for the wedding ceremony, which should be both solemn and joyful, the following guidelines have been established to assist you.

Notice in advance:

1.  Notice of at least six months prior to the date of marriage must be given to the priest.

2.  Do not make any bookings (hall, caterers, etc.) before verifying the planned date and time with the priest.

3.  No date may be set if there are any complications, such as: one or both parties under the age of nineteen; a previous marriage by either party; current cohabitation; or non-practice of the Faith.  Make an appointment with the priest to discuss the situation.

4. Fee is $200.00

Marriage Instruction:

You are planning to spend the rest of your lives together in the loving bond of marriage. Every step must be taken to ensure your happiness and that you have a sound knowledge of the duties and responsibilities that are assumed in marriage. For this purpose a series of Marriage Preparation Courses are available, and it is expected that each couple take one of these courses. Consider taking the course well in advance of your intended wedding date, since other activities closer to that time might interfere with the concentration required or the attendance that is mandatory.

These courses are sponsored by the Diocesan Office for Marriage and Family Formation, and are held in various parishes throughout the Diocese with different days and times for each. They are not held in July and August, and information regarding the schedule may be obtained by phoning the parish office.

Certificates and Forms:

1. Baptism certificates for both parties must be presented. For Catholics the certificate must be issued, from the parish where you were baptized, within 6 months of the wedding date, while for Christians of another denomination the original is allowed.

    *If one of the parties is not baptized, proof of non-baptism will be required, which is an affidavit by  a parent   or Relative.

2. If the marriage is to take place outside the parish of the bride, a letter of permission from the pastor of the bride is required. If the groom alone is Catholic and the marriage is to take place outside his parish of residence, a letter of permission from his pastor is required.
3. If either or both of the parties is under 19 years of age, a letter of consent from the parents is required by provincial law. The Archdiocese of Vancouver requires an assessment by Catholic Family Services regarding maturity  for marriage, and the priest must interview the parents.
4. A marriage licence is required, and may be obtained from the Provincial Government Offices in Surrey. They are located at:

#106, 1656 Martin Dr., White Rock, 536-7288
#205, 10252 - 135 St. in Whalley, 588-8500
#5661 - 176A St. in Cloverdale, 576-9468

It must be obtained within 3 months of the marriage date. Currently the cost of the license is $100.

5. A number of other forms are required by the Government and y the Church, so you must make an appointment with the priest officiating at your wedding, well in advance.
6. One parent or two other people for each party will be required to fill in forms witnessing to the fact that the party they know is free to contract a valid marriage. These witnesses may be either relatives or friends, and must have known the party since they were young teenagers.
7. If one of the parties is not a Catholic, a dispensation from the law of the Church is required for the marriage to take place. This is granted by the Archbishop, through his officials in the Chancery Office, on the conditions that the non-Catholic party will not hinder the practice of the Faith by the Catholic party, and that the children of the marriage will be baptized and raised in the Catholic Faith. The Catholic party must make a solemn promise to that effect.

Planning the Liturgy of the Marriage:

The ritual provides many options for the sacred readings, prayers, and practices for the ceremony. You will have to discuss all this with the priest several weeks before the wedding, and in good time  for the rehearsal.

1. Music:

"In selecting the music for your wedding, please remember that the ceremony is religious in nature and thus the music must be sacred in character.  Songs from movies, T.V. shows, or stage productions find no place in the wedding liturgy. Favourite popular songs meaningful to the bride and groom would by better suited to the wedding reception."

The above paragraph is the policy of the Archdiocese in regard to wedding music. It is also the policy observed at St. Matthew's.

-- If an organist is required please call the parish office.

-- If other musicians or musical arrangements are desired, then clearance must be obtained from the pastor.

2. Rehearsal:

This is to be arranged with the priest, usually a few days before the wedding, in the late afternoon or early evening. It requires the attendance of the bridal couple, the bridal party, the ushers, the father of the bride, or all the parents if they are involved in the entrance procession.  It may also require those taking a special part in the liturgy, such as the readers and musicians. Other interested people are asked not to attend, and the time spent in rehearsing is meant to be kept to a minimum.

3.  Times of weddings:

Weddings normally take place on Saturday, but may also be arranged for another weekday. They are not allowed to take place on a Sunday. At St. Matthew's Parish the times on Saturday are set at 1:00pm and 3:00pm.  If for an extraordinary reason another time is desired, it must be discussed with the pastor well in advance.

4.  Punctuality:

Everyone should be on time for the rehearsal since lateness causes inconvenience to many. Sometimes there are other commitments in the church or by the priest, and so punctuality is an important courtesy for all concerned.

It is important that everyone be on time for the wedding. The ushers should be at the church 30 minutes ahead of time, the bridal party -- 10 minutes! It is neither fashionable nor polite for the bride to arrive late, but rather shows a lack of respect and consideration for the community gathered for the wedding. (And the priest will not be happy.)

5. Celebration of Mass:

Except for special circumstances the celebrant of your marriage will be the parish priest. If the couple wish to have a priest-relative or priest-friend officiate, they should check with the pastor well in advance.

For Catholics marriage is a Sacrament and therefore to be held in a Catholic church. Any other setting, no matter how attractive, is not allowed to be used for the wedding.

For two Catholics getting married, the marriage ceremony takes place within the celebration of Mass. And in this case the bride and groom may receive Holy Communion under both species.

When the wedding takes place within the Nuptial Mass, non-Catholics are not allowed to receive Communion, but are encouraged to participate through prayer and song.

On the occasion of a marriage between a Catholic and a baptized Christian of another denomination, the ceremony is not usually with a Mass. Any decision on this is to be made in consultation with the priest, with due consideration given to the sensitivities of the non-Catholic party.

In the event of a marriage between a Catholic and a non-baptized person, the Mass is not allowed to be celebrated.

In readiness for the wedding, especially when Holy Communion is to be received at Mass, the couple must take due care and attention to the reception of the Sacrament of Confession, usually some days or weeks before the wedding.

When there is no Mass the Catholic party is encouraged to come to the parish Mass on the morning of the wedding to receive Holy Communion on the day of their marriage.

Photographs:

Photography is allowed with careful instructions given out of respect for the sacredness of the place and occasion.

A professional photographer is accustomed to working with a minimum of distraction to those present at a wedding ceremony. He checks beforehand with the priest as to where and when pictures may or may not be taken. For these reasons, only a professional, commissioned by the couple, will be permitted to take pictures. Please inform your relatives and friends of this policy.

Amateur photographers must confine their activity to outside the church. The use of cameras or equipment requiring floodlights will not be allowed.

Decoration of the Church:

The purchase of flowers for the church is the responsibility of the bridal couple. If there is more than one wedding on the same day, perhaps the cost of flowers could be shared.

At least one arrangement should be left in the church after the wedding, but a lot of flowers are not necessary.

Dress Code:

It is embarrassing for a priest to see the beauty of the occasion somewhat clouded by the apparent lack of modesty in the style of garments chosen for the bride and her attendants. Christian modesty does not permit dresses that are strapless, backless, or with deep v frontals. The mini-skirt, or slit up to the waist styles, or the like, are not appropriate in a church!

Please be mindful of this when planning the style of dress for your wedding. Let's not try to see how flushed you can make the priest get at a time when he's trying to be so kind and patient to you all.

Artificial flowers, large basket standards, or candelabra are not allowed. The same applies to candles held by the wedding party or placed in the aisles of the church.

Decorating usually takes place the morning of the wedding.

If a "Unity Candle" is to be used by the couple, then the purchase of the candle, and the accompanying two white candles, are the responsibility of the bride and groom, and should be brought to the church at the time of the rehearsal.

Confetti:

Confetti is a serious janitorial problem in any church. Its use, or the use of substitutes (rice, seeds, etc), inside or outside the church, is absolutely forbidden.  Please inform your guests of this policy. The ushers will be required to clean the premises, inside and out, before leaving, if the situation arises.

Invitations:

Invitations should not be printed until final clearance is made with the priest as to the exact date and time.  To facilitate your guests arriving at the proper place for the wedding, use the address: St. Matthew's Church, 16079 - 88th Ave. Surrey.

Offerings:

The following are the donations appropriate for a wedding:

- Church: at time of booking $200
-Priest: at rehearsal an offering of your own choice

- Organist: arrange this beforehand with the individual.
- current rates are from $125 and up ... depending on the time involved, with or without rehearsal, Mass or no Mass, and whether special music must be learned.

- Altar Servers: only if there is Mass, at $10 each
- The offerings should be given to the priest as he does all the preparation work for a wedding.

All offerings should be given in separate envelopes, clearly  marked, and presented to the priest at the time of the rehearsal.

The following text is taken from the former Ritual of Marriage, and is reproduced here in full witness to the Catholic tradition on marriage, and in the spirit of the Constitution on the Sacred Liturgy of Vatican II.

Dear friends in Christ: As you know, you are about to enter into a union which is most sacred and most serious, a union which was established by God Himself. By it, He gave to man a share in the greatest work of creation, the work of the continuation of the human race. And in this way He sanctified human love and enabled man and woman to help each other live as children of God, by sharing a common life under His fatherly care.

Because God Himself is this its author, marriage is of its very nature a holy institution, requiring of those who enter into it a complete and unreserved giving of self. But Christ our Lord added to the holiness of marriage an even deeper meaning and a higher beauty. He referred to the love of marriage to describe His own love for His Church, that is, for the people of God whom He redeemed by His own blood.  And so He gave to Christians a new vision of what married life ought to be, a life of self-sacrificing love like His own. It is for this reason that His Apostle, St. Paul, clearly states that marriage is now and for all time to be considered a great mystery, intimately bound up with the supernatural union of Christ and the Church, which union is also to be its pattern.

This union, then, is most serious, because it will bind you together for life in a relationship so close and so intimate, that it will profoundly influence your whole future. That future, with its hopes and disappointments, its successes and its failure, its pleasures and its pains, its joys and its sorrows, is hidden from your eyes. You know that these elements are mingled in every life, and are to be expected in your own. And so, not knowing what is before you, you take each other for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death.

Truly, then, these words are most serious. It is a beautiful tribute to your undoubted faith in each other, that, recognizing their full import, you are nevertheless so willing and ready to pronounce them. And because these words involve such solemn obligations, it is most fitting that you rest the security of your wedded life upon the great principle of self-sacrifice. And so you begin your married life by the voluntary and complete surrender of your individual lives in the interest of that deeper and wider life which you are to have in common. Henceforth you belong entirely to each other; you will be one in mind, one in heart, and one in affections. And whatever sacrifices you may hereafter be required to make to preserve this common life, always make them generously. Sacrifice is usually difficult and irksome. Only love can make it easy; and perfect love can make it a joy. We are willing to give in proportion as we love. And when love is perfect, the sacrifice is complete. God so loved the world that He gave His Only begotten Son; and the Son so loved us that He gave Himself for our salvation.

"Greater love than this no man hath, that a man lay down his life for his friends." No greater blessing can come to your married life than pure conjugal love, loyal and true to the end. May, then, this love with which you join your hands and hearts today, never fail, but grow deeper and stronger as the years go on. And if true love and the unselfish spirit of perfect sacrifice guide your every action, you can expect the greatest measure of earthly happiness that may be allotted to man in this vale of tears. The rest is in the hands of God. Nor will God be wanting to your needs; He will pledge you the life-long support of His graces in the Holy Sacrament which you are now going to receive.